Didn't Believe

I didn't believe you knew me
I didn't believe you could see right through me
to the depths
to the pitfalls
and endless wayward wanderings,
to the darkness
the shadows
and the irredeemable ugliness of all I held close.

But you gently lifted my chin
and through tear-filled eyes said
no, son,
I do know you,
I know where you've been and it matters nothing.
I made you light so light up those dark places,
turn from those paths that brought you so low and find
new heights in me.

"Throw away your fake peace, dive into the endless world."

Artistry !

An artist who wishes to keep his work to himself, is not being fair with that which he received from the present moment, nor with the inheritance and teachings of his forefathers. If we leave the grain stored in the granary it will go bad, even though it was harvested at the right time. When the harvest is over the time comes to share, without fear or shame, your own soul.  That is the artist's mission, however painful or glorious.
-Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light, Volume III

Prodigal, you have given me love - therefore I to you give love! O unspeakable passionate love. - W.Whitman

Have you outstript the rest? are you the President? - W.Whitman

Smoking Furnace

I was asked whether or not I could write my thoughts in layman's terms. I said 'of course' and then went silent for a whole meal. Considering why I was on fire. Thinking about why I write and who it's for. Immediately I went to judgements, to arguments and justifications, but I only got through three half-sentences before "I'm proud of my writing" punched me in the brain.

My writing.

I still own this.

The silence for the meal wasn't heavy, I wasn't filled with hate or dread, but I was filled with tension and couldn't relax, the kind where you can't settle or chill because you have work in two hours.

It's not the first time it's been pointed out to me that my writing's inaccessible.When it should be poignant I begin to fuzz it out with my own details, piling nouns and adjectives onto single ideas that become really bloated.

So.

What does it mean to Walk in Jesus?
It means freedom.
     but not the freedom to run and run and go crazy...
     so it's a constructive freedom with guidelines.
              that's just odd to hear because we don't associate guidelines with freedom.

Freedom from what...

And then I talk at length.
Because it's not just communicating a concept, it's stepping into a waterfall where excitement and clarity and expansion just keeps pouring out and whetting my dry life.
How do you discuss these big concepts with children?
Speak simply.

Freedom means you can do what you like - but there are consequences.
What you do doesn't affect how I feel toward you and it doesn't define you - but there are consequences. Do you want this or that? There's always choice. That's what the freedom is.
If you're not experiencing that moment of choice when you say yes or no or this or that, that second of pause to determine what you really want and what consequences you're really excited for, then you're not practicing being free.