There's a Way

I've perceived a line with 'Love' and 'Law' at the other, where God's the balance between. Being part of a body where I lived in constant (crushing) awareness of others' perception of me, I have lived on the Law end for a while. I just asked myself how to dial down the law and dial up the love, to move more toward God's balance and yogi-bliss, and the fact that this is super 2-dimensional man-thought hit me.
I saw love and law come together on God to form one point. In the same moment I saw the line grow upward, outward, and sideways into a three dimensional universe in which the God of the center expanded as a ball of warm light into the very reaches of the still-growing everything. It was a cool impression.
I'm not apart from Him even when I'm in the law because there's love all over it. The law is just the way. It's the weight of the law that's not of Him.

In seeking God, I've been looking for something that's super foreign to me. I was trying to study it like I studied Spanish culture in high school: with little enthusiasm and because I was told to. I've tasted the life of him (far better than flan), and have gotten lawful on myself because I should dive in to all I can. I haven't. In school I worked for A's; in real life I aim for intangibles which are far harder to measure. So why measure? Isn't any progress advancement? I went for good grades to please people, but my momentum in God begins to mount when I realize I've been walking without knowing it: He doesn't leave, so we're always hanging out. I'm constantly seeing Him and myself in Him, I've just been trained to believe there's nothing exceptional about it so everyday has more on me than I have on it. God wants me free and I want to be free. I don't have to go anywhere or look like anything to be free - it's an inalienable right.

In reading the bible I'm reading about myself - I've never seen myself that way. You know, powerful, able, faithful, true; doing big things because I was called to regardless of how insane they looked. He told me again today that nothing about my life is mundane. This must be true because he's here right now, and when does someone so creative do anything unintentional? Zone out for a bit? When is God's downtime? He lives in peace and rest still doing things, but unhurried and without pressure. We say 'well He's God' as if that justifies the how of anything he does. But he's knowable. Everything he does he does so we would know him and his presence, his power and love. We are his likeness and image for goodness sakes, how different do you think we are? Jesus said we'd do the things he did and more, so why do we think an active and living God who doesn't take a break from caring for us is unreachable, hard-hearted and impossible to comprehend? Who the hell is this? He sounds capricioius and mean-spirited, like a Greek god. We admit one thing with our mouths (testifying of His goodness and grace) and do the obscene opposite (believing and so living that he's untrustworthy and going to punish me unless I can do well), hypocrites that we are.

Moving forward in God means aligning yourself with him, like a marriage. I put off my old self so that my new identity might be more like his; we are the Bride, after all. He presented the Bride to himself without spot or wrinkle, so I'm clean and wonderful before him. Where every day is a chance to be less of what I used to be (and hated), and more of what I desire (the one I've chosen to spend my life with), nothing's mundane. We don't grow familiar with each other, we grow more expectant and excited: He's made himself available. When I draw near to God and put off my old patterns of thinking, perceptions of him and who he is, perceptions of who I am or how I'm supposed to be, concerns and fears and hangups and wishes and on and on...when I willingly lay those at his feet, then I am free to be loved. And he's rapturous. I get red in the face reading Song of Songs because it's about me.

There is a way; it's through the bride. It's from a father who makes a son, through the mother that produces him. It's being part of a body who will shape you and raise you in the way you should go. It's submitting yourselves one to another, confessing your sins, building one another up and blessing those whose hearts have been given to you. All of this because we have a mediator and because we are cared for by the one who loved us first. He's made a way where there was no way, and it's nothing like we understand or imagine.

Remember, be

What's my self-perception? My words seem stopped up even when I don't think about them. but it's not me. I am in Him, and walking. What moves in me is fully moved in me, and fully realized at that moment. My understanding of it will grow - this is only first light. May I stop moving if I ever think I've gotten something. I am free, tied to nothing.

"Make the heteros get married." bahaha
I feel like this self of mine is getting more flimsy: that the stuff that comes is all just fine, fine. I get a little harried, but it's not consuming. I guess I expect consumption. I desire consuming fire - but passion, I suppose.


Zakar means 'male' or 'to remember'.
Jehu means 'he is God' or 'it is Jah [who is God]' - (n.) A coachman; a driver; especially, one who drives furiously.
Concerning Ischus and Dunamis, I'd say it's a man who remembers who he is. 

Something's been imparted. I've thought too much and carried too much and considered and believed I knew what it would look like. But I don't.
I don't, okay?
You tell me I'm wonderful, and you provide for me at every step. You show that you're outside of me, and it still feels like a headgame - I might win if I can just catch the rules. So you manifest to me, and we have a very real encounter i sound crazy expressing. I assume I want healing. But it seems like all I want's to be right. Your life is LIFE, and I can talk about it. But for now, I'm content to stress about all the I's in me. Faith toward God; not toward the self. 
A MAN REMEMBERS. It's who he is; it's his makeup. I remember you, lord, when I'm falling. I remember you when I'm catching fire. I remember you, head, when I attempt to make my own way. I SUBMIT TO YOU, HOLY SPIRIT, WHEN I'M WRITING, SPEAKING, AND BREATHING. MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT MY OWN BUT THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU. I DEVOUR YOUR WORD FOR IT OPENS MY SENSES - MY SPIRIT UNTO YOU.
I can't do you, I am you. There's the game. I spend all my time trying to figure out how to be this one particular person I can't get all the details to, and I'm him all my life. If I'm you; I'm content. I'm powerful, and able. Secure and easy, unharried. I create in rest and, well, am rested. If I celebrate you I no longer have to celebrate myself - this, whatever you made - this gift of operation. I can just write you. I still need training, but I can participate if I'm you. I'm yours.

I'm expecting something crazy on my behalf, but you're with me, so I guess everything's just outrageous.
Thanks, pop, for being kindly. For smiling on me when I would run. Thanks for bringing me home. This heart is yours. And I'm a man, so I don't swear, but I remember my word and now my yes is yes. I do.

Listen Here

Do you think everything has a voice?
Cabinets, carpets, trees, a house's face. The bible says the rocks cry out.
Do you think anything can speak?
I imagine that everything has something to say, people waste their voices, but assuming every object has a purpose, what better way for that purpose be illuminated than for the very steward of that purpose to talk about it? I'm not saying I want to chat with a lampstand. If my purpose is to live and grow thicker, bolder, and more colorful (in Life) here, then I can grow. The same way a detective can read and perceive a truth and move with his gut in pursuit of his end, perhaps if we learned to listen in a new way, we could never be without sustenance, purpose, and innovation. I see the perceiving of these sounds as a stillness of the soul, like a pool which grows in content and depth when a thing is deposited in it. If your pool is rocky, you won't notice anything else coming at you because it's lost in the ruckus. But if you're quiet in spirit, the sounds and ripples will give the thing away. Things are slipping into your pool every day; do you know it?

Either objects are given a voice or someone is speaking through them. The voice is speaking of experience, life and direction, or lamenting its fear, destruction, and sadness. Who's speaking where and to what end? If Expansion is speaking, then I am illuminated and so I grow. If close-mindedness is speaking, I'm held down and hate it, but think myself safe. What will I hear of? I lean less on the lesser voice because I have been shown it's not prosperous, though at one point I thought it was.
My faith isn't airy-fairy (my new catch-all term for a sort of hippie reception - indiscriminate might be more appropriate), it's expanding to perceive more of god and life. I've been stuck in a mindset so I wouldn't move but God's endlessly expanding and moving, so I must learn to move like a greased wheel.
Life as energy. Given that everything in a room has energy (a temperature, a flammable mass, nutrients for things to grow in), then the energy of god is thrumming through all things. Sedentary, propelled, wet, hot, or mangy, he's close and literally coursing all around me - through me ... he is me. I am God. This is the oneness that all wise people speak of: the immersion of the self, thoughts, actions, emotions, all life, into a giant pool of consciousness where all things are shared and true and Justice is equal for everything. Step into the pool and be healed because everything in it is whole.

In life, Christianity for the most part sees do's and dont's and doesn't care to pursue a higher life. Many of them look for a better way because the seed within them hopes (earnestly expects) for consummation with the spirit, but their vision is limited because they are interested only in what they have and what comes next.  They're not present. Hippies perceive the life of spirit and move in it but do not submit to the structure and clarity that gives our life here.Though more easygoing than most Christians, (I'm generalizing) they have few boundaries and aren't lawful enough in their pursuit. God is balance - all love and all direction, where direction is the law of his word. He is missed when the law gets heavy, because there's nothing heavy about Life and Grace and Peace. You can't keep the law, you can observe and maintain it to the best of your ability. From there you grow. You're not expected to keep it; he hopes you'll look for increase because the law is a way providing clarity in a mess of detail and circumstance. It declares the simple truth when a bevy of other cries bombard you with other justified and less true truths. So just be you. Don't put on, or lie, beat around the bush, or water things down. Bring it out like it's moving in you - anger, frustration, uproarious joy. Or don't. They're only circumstances, and if we're truly in God, then the people who get offended right out of my life aren't partaking of the grace that I'm learning to drink of.
It's about being present and growing up and down, side to side, glory to glory, because God just keeps on raining down.  He dwells outside of time and we get hitched up in it. I won't lament for the person who'll be leaving in a month because I have them now. If it comes down to it I can call, email, skype, facebook, or let the world know with a tweet that I miss their body and am glad they're somewhere they need to be right now.
There's no distance in spirit anyhow. Pray for me, and your desire for my presence will be lessened because we're in the same pool. So I'm grateful for everything roundabout me and all the inner workings of the spirit. I am empowered to move in Grace, because God has propelled me into my next steps and those are never without Christ.
This is all about receiving, the willingness to open up to whatever might be higher and better than myself. I am closed when I think I'm good just as I am. I am good, and whole, and if secure in this state I'm prohibiting my expansion of self into something I haven't yet perceived. There are two levels here: the natural and the spiritual. In the natural, my steadfastness is a planted-feet I've-come-this-far-and-so-am-strong mentality. In the spiritual realm, this security is founded in the Lord and instead of digging in to stop something I am able to stand and receive whatever will stick. Receive of whatever comes at you and be sure the Lord will sort it out. We dedicate so much energy to determining what we'll receive that we waste ourselves and staunch our growth because we think we know exactly what we need. I don't know how God looks. My faith is growing that he approaches me in a multitude of ways I haven't yet seen, considered, or been open to.
So if the walls start speaking to me of life, I won't be surprised.