Light Breach

How, then, do I become conscious? Theories abound and people make it up when they have no idea. I’ve tried meditation, drugs, yoga, new religion, discipline, nature, free-love, aggression, self-mutilation, deja-vu, past regression, hypnosis, séance, information dissemination, skydiving, risking my life, adrenaline, tattoos, alcohol, women, work, money, men, friendship, hardship, war, research, philosophy, action, inaction, food, humanitarian efforts, psychology, psychoses, loss, gain, wealth, stars, planets, crystals, running, swimming, digging, building, cleaning, organizing, meeting people, starting projects. At this point I felt my world narrowing because I was exhausting everything I could think of yet wasn’t waking up – where are answers? Who has them? Someone must. I couldn’t be alone in this ever-shrinking idea of life or satisfaction. I could tell if I kept going on like this the transition to outside the diminishing circle would kill me. I’d have to get the directions to just... find myself out there in free space. Is that cheating? To skip the work? Can you do that? New pursuits, ruination, eastern religions, art, poetry, fashion design, buying things. I couldn’t stop and I was reaching the end of me – where haven’t I looked? The whole world; there’s nowhere left. Vandalism theft, prison, insanity, hurt, children, marriage, assault, divorce, depression, hate, rebound love, fire-walking, fire eating, brick-oven pizza. 

I went to the park and sat on a bench. Head empty, ears ringing with screams of loss, dissatisfaction, the improbable and the impossible. A man sat next to me and the voices died. I awakened to the park, the sound of leaves and birds, the sun on the grass. I swear it was the first breath I had taken in years. I looked to my right at the middle-aged man with a beard in need of shaving. He saw me looking. “Beautiful day, huh?” he said. His voice popped up on the ‘huh,’ indicating I could only agree. It took a second but I croaked out a yes. He smiled small and turned to look at me, his eyes kind and blue. He just saw me for a minute and then he blew my mind.

“Life isn’t hard, we just think it is because we think we can get it wrong. We think by changing others, or our circumstances or habits we can find peace, but that’s like picking the apples and expecting oranges next time. Then we blame the tree for not meeting our expectations – blame ourselves, others for our dissatisfaction. You have to start with good ground and the seed you want – then focus every good thought and action on its growth and cultivation and in no time you’ll have what you desire. Merely setting yourself toward this end will occupy you and make you well because you’re moving, doing consciously the thing you are meant to do, that is: actively choosing the life you live. Then everything , Every Single Thing will feed the seed and the tree will be beautiful and fruitful and it will be yours; will be you. But nothing can happen before its time. Attention is the only thing you have – not resources, funds, time – all that depletes or has human valuation or doesn’t exist – you don’t know how much time you have. All you have is where you fix your eyes. Are you reaching toward the light?”

Notes on Good Tidings

Hey,

    I would just like to encourage you. When God doesn't seem near you can know by faith that he's closer than your skin. When you feel lost, forgotten, or worthless you can know by faith that nothing is outside of him, and that even when you are on the farthest reaches of heaven he will still call to you.
    Take comfort knowing that God's a Righteous Judge - he deals in righteousness and right-standing. He doesn't peddle in good or bad or right or wrong, he only looks on profitable or unprofitable and this is evidenced by the fruit in your life.
    So be free in your heart.
    Let your head be uplifted because God is Spirit and he is with you. Do not worry about tomorrow but face what you've been given to walk in RIGHT NOW because God's hand is in it.
    He ceaselessly calls us back to rectification in Him - it doesn't matter where you've fallen, what you've done, how hard your fists hit the floor - so every moment is a chance to be free from all your mindsets about who you are, how things work, how to best live life, how to make your own way, how people relate...all of this you can turn from at every second and be free to respond as your spirit-self would - with temperance, love, hope, and good cheer.
    You are loved.  Be free to receive that love.
    Peace to you.

    Hans

The Active God, art. 317

Two spheres similar in size and shape to the untrained eye are heaven and earth. Where they overlap I find me. But that might make this space hell, part spirit, part earth, and I am not in hell, so that can't be right. Hell must be a third sphere, part of both again, but its altogether own, granting the fallen angel his own domain of fiery torture with boundaries saying 'here and no further.' But that breaks spirit in twain and leaves the earthly as its own, which makes no sense because God is spirit and created man in His image -so we must be spirit because he's ever with us and we with him. So now, as the word says, there is no separation between soul and spirit save for clarification, and these circles all overlap - where heaven covers all iterations of itself: the holy, physical, and fallen.
yet each of these locations has its place - so how to divide them for understanding? It must be an issue of understanding, what we know, have learned and experienced, have assumed true. A matter of how I think, where my mindsets fall, how my eyes perceive.
I could be in the country of heaven, traveling between the states or cities of hell and earth. But satan fell to earth like lightning, so earth is his domain. Can it be that God is the President of Heaven with Satan, his right-hand-man, resisting him? The word says so. But God knows his plans for us, to help us and not harm us, though Satan roams around like a roaring lion. So Jesus rectifies what Satan had called his own, the Son of the long-loved President coming in and bearing his Father's name. This example doesn't work well as a physical manifestation, but it does if it's all in me. Heaven's within and my capacity to dwell in peace or fury is given to me - states that voted red can go blue or vice versa, and Jesus can rectify anything. God and Jesus vs./in spite of Satan. Where Satan is victor, the economy crumbles and causes a city to turn back to the father - its destruction is present in its own sowing. So the city's rectified. And when the Holy Spirit's the Father's PR man, they're pretty sure a win.
But the city must be open in order to be won over. And cities that are seared have got to come down because they no longer produce. They become socialist, unworking and poor, leeching off the cities that are fruitful and claiming they deserve their share.  The trumpets are blown and the walls fall in on themselves. Then the foundation is laid again and the city comes back in newness of life.
And this is my heart. Good from jump, sold a bill of goods by a liar and thief, rectified by Jesus in all things, and in constant communion with God thanks to His Spirit. I can be in hell with no peace in sight, but I'm still in God's country. And He leads a government that listens because it was established for me - for my benefit - for this man who received the idea of sovereignty and gave my land, freedom, finances, and self to it.
Sovereignty is topmost priority in this land. God doesn't tell us to do anything or make us do anything: we are free. Those who will be sold to Satan will be sold and they can stay that way. God will not tell Satan he can't do a thing, but He will act when His people make their requests known.