What's fully alive then? I asked a friend and she said whatever it looks like, it "seems to overflow with the elements of love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control." (These are the fruits of the spirit.) If these represent full life, then we are most full, to overflowing, when we are in the spirit. Moving in the spirit permits God's glory to shine; we're the glory of god when we are not inhibited by this world. Any life can be lived but it takes real courage and practice to live out loud in the present. Being present is to find an active God, the one you can bear witness to right now, blaringly beautiful in all things. When we get ahead of ourselves with frustrations that haven't happened yet, we are generating an emotional response to things out of our control (ie the future). "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." We sacrifice our peace (our only real treasure) to a god (the future) who is insatiable. Our peace is gone in an instant.
"It's like this: when your mind creates a problem, when it resists life as it unfolds in the moment, your body tenses and feels this tension as an 'emotion,' variously interpreted by words like 'fear,' 'sorrow,' or 'anger.' True emotion...is pure energy, flowing freely in the body...emotions are a natural human capacity, a form of expression. Sometimes it's appropriate to express fear, sorrow, or anger - but the energy should be directed completely outward, not held in. The expression of emotions should be complete and powerful, then should vanish without a trace. The way to control your emotions, then, is to let them flow and let them go." (Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman)We are not fully alive when we are missing what's going on right now, usually because we're thinking about tomorrow, or a future presentation, or how pissed I am about so-and-so, or whether or not my crush is diggin' me too. Be present and in good company, doing what you're doing with all your energy because what you invest is what you will reap. Satisfaction is the end result, because nothing feels wasted and your intentions have been fulfilled, regardless of outcome. It's like leaving the game on the court, or field, or being fully immersed in the character, or writing without editing for a full twenty minutes. Pour out and you will reap. When we get consumed by thoughts about others position in relation to our own, about insecurities, successes and failures, whether we've done right or wrong, we are lost to them - all these less-than-objective viewpoints run on an OS we've always had and all of it is "justified" but won't hold up to real and constructive scrutiny. Life is not what you've done, it's where you're at. That's why you can always reinvent yourself because salvation is now. Living is not what you're doing, but where your heart's at. Your brain can get you through a day, but your mind can assail you all the while. I don't hold with 'happiness' as a thing anymore. Rather, I'm drawn to 'satisfaction' as fulfillment. Joy accompanies satisfaction. You're not happy with a job well done, but satisfied. Satisfaction is earned and a reward in itself. We work toward this indefinite happiness which cannot actually be attained because there's always something bigger and otherwise we're wanting:
"If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change, free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality... Life is not suffering; it’s just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it, until you let go of your mind’s attachments and just go for the ride freely, no matter what happens."You cannot control the world: you can only agree or disagree with what's coming your way. You can be at peace and ride the waves or you can struggle and drown in them. Commit your life to God, the thoughts and intents of the heart, and you will be thoroughly changed and thoroughly strengthened for every situation, for every assailing, and for every joy. Emotions needn't rule you like a lord over his serfs, but they can be Fully experienced once they are sanctified. God is good, and nothing changes this. I am alive when I am awake to His presence now, not 'when I will be awake' to him.
"Morning is when I am awake and there is a dawn within me." Thoreau.
Our culture creates stress and assumes that's simply the way of things. Stress is not peace, and it is not quiet. Stress is a crowded schedule, a plan that can be waylaid, a body that gets rundown, and a mind that won't shut up. Stress is distraction from Peace and Life. This isn't to say you can't be busy, but walk hand in hand with the Lord without running ahead of him. Lean on him for guidance and patience, growing in discernment so your yes might be yes and your no a no. In this way you will become more like God, moving with him; moved by joy, peace, gentleness and self control. Because the spirit of God was poured out on all men, we are His glory when we are less ourselves.
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