The City The Country

Today I rode hours in the wrong direction twice and spent about 10 minutes in the ocean, my goal.
It really is about the people you're with because I was devastatingly lonely. I wanted new friends, and then I didn't, I wanted old friends, but wanted to be free with them. And then I just wanted fellowship, where the thing is just the thing, and God gets the glory.

Mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers
until mountains are not mountains and rivers are not rivers,
and then mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers again.

You have fond memories of a place because of the associations that were made there, with the people whose voices are echoing in those memories. People are the investment. It's not discovering how strong I can be on my own, just how independently I can function so I might know a new kind of life somehow. We are meant to work in relationship, to fellowship, to move, and exalt, and mess about, and screw up and increase through it all.
Everyone on couchsurfing says 'I like open-minded people' and 'I'm fun-loving' and 'spontaneous'. We have ideas about who we want to consort with, but that says little about the connection that arises between people. Either you are for each other or you are not; either you are both for the lord or you are not. It's a yoking issue.
I've got a couple days here still, and a date tomorrow morning, so we'll see how this expands.
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My heart's in quite a state. It's been gripped and grappled; I guess it's tender. Freedom, choice, deliberation, and smarts. Execution is my problem now. I see myself independent and blessed... achieving things that I alone couldn't possibly do, but am alone, save God. It's messy, this impression. 

So I'll write a book.

When I am sad
   I will smile.

"It's not what you do that defines your quality of life, it's who you do it with."
"It's not what you think that defines who you are, it's what you do."
So what you do defines you and who you're with determines your quality of life? Can that be right? Platitudes are lazy and all-encompassing because they're generally true and sound poetic and wise enough that people say them because they have to say something when they don't know what to say.
Man's mind is a pit of snakes, and when, like Indy, we fall into it, we are lost to ourselves. Intervention by the arms of another are what save us when we cannot be.
The head and the heart are two separate things - one a driver, the other for recreation; one for inception, the other for implementation. Can you see which is which?
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The date went well.