Loss prevention

I shall tip forward into the wind or upon the people I want to become so I become nothing and a part of everything.
I fear for my heart and my dangerous thoughts because I don't turn on them. I center myself on this kernel, taut in the middle of myself, clench my fists, grit my teeth, let out a shout and blow to pieces disappearing into nothingness and giving ...gifting?... myself to everybody and everything. My gift I can't see and have no standard with which to value it: I cannot understand value in itself, a thing's value just because it is. In theory that's a thing, but not in my operating yet.
I am between my best and closest friends in peace, in the sun, and I hold them and who they are and am eclipsed totally. They rise and my shoulders slump. I sink into the ground and my bones clack upon each other. Everything I measure by has no value, but I'm not used LOVE just LOVE and BEING because I am mashed into gruel at the thought of my self or the apparent failing of my purpose and prize. I speak one thing and live many others.
I am confident in the truth and purity of the word when I am alight, but I don't live it.

The pressure is always there to be something more. But it's not pressure, just a push, always offered and always given. Do you want more or don't you? You are free to stop for a while, or for a long while, forever if you want, but if you listen the call will always be to the hunt or to the places you haven't cleaned or explored yet because the garden was given to you. What will you? What do you will? What will you do? Whose will? To what end? Where are you looking and what are you doing? How do you spend your days?

What do you win, what do you loose; what do you receive, what do you lose?
What do you carry and what do you finish; what do you run for and what do you hold?
How much of your waking time and how much of your life is bound up in stuff and nonsense...



life is so much more; a god-love enshrouds us
we are held and there's nothing to lose