I had a lovely dream about loss and being cleansed in the Ganges.

my religion has changed a lot. really, I just want relationship. not a rela...
I feelbreath on the back of my head. My traps are tense and tight and I feel hands massaging me, strong hands who have the feel for spots. He blows on the back of my head again, and presses on the knots. I get goosebumps that run up and down, pause, and then do it again. And again. He's blowing and rubbing and is very close to me. "Do you know how much I love you?" he says, and keeps blowing on my head and pressing the tight spots. I see a heart combust into flame. Like that: Strong and fierce and jealous and real without control, without bounds. He presses himself to me and wraps his arms around my chest and I feel the warm contact of his body all on mine, surrounding me. 
I am loved. It doesn't matter that he's a man, that Jesus cat, just that I receive him and am received as I am.