I've had a certain impression of love since I was a child. It was a rare encounter, and still is, but when it happens I am lost to the world because heaven opens to me as it is.
There's a black sky, with endless diamond pinprick stars all about: it's an ocean of lights, more beautiful because of the contrast. And it expands. This is the key to love - it grows. This endless sea of beauty and affirmation gets wider and deeper and further, and that which is established grows stronger and continues growing stronger as new faith is born into the fold. These stars are me, the faith I find, the people I meet. It's all available and all a promise to me. I gaze into the arc of heaven and bear witness to God testifying to me of his promises. I am made to reach each of these stars - not to touch them but to let them touch me.
Then I'm on a ship, the sound of water lapping the bow, sailing into the night, into an unending sea of expectation and light, stars reflected in my eyes.
I think I might look at them (stars) and think about what has been written of this "heavenlove". It is funny how different the night looks when you are walking in the light, being transformed by even one degree of glory. What did my old dead self ever expect, gazing at the great expanse and beholding nothing but desires of this world? I am glad I look now and can feel His presence and can talk to Him. I'm thankful for the growth I must go through. My flesh wants to enter a cheat code and skip the trials, but I don't think I would ever get to experience anything remotely close to the heavenlove you talk about here. I wish my spirit could burst out and go beyond the stars into the heavens where He is. Of course, I might need to wait a couple of days until the weather clears up.
ReplyDeleteSeattle rah. There is no separation in spirit, and you needn't see the stars with your eyes to know they're there. The trials we go through are for our perfection - the perfection of the saints. He shaves off a bit of our flesh, and we become more spirit. It's liberation, but we, so small-minded, think he's doing us wrong or even that he's left us alone. But his promises are ALL yes and amen and his works are Constant and Consistent and he's Love unending - who have we been worshiping?! This deadish thing, impotent and unkind, powerful enough to leave us hanging and out-of-sight enough to be sent an obligatory and second-hand thank you when something good happens, it would seem. But He's a creator, and he's creative, and he's powerful and alive in us, married to us who have married him, near those who don't care for him and nearer us who do, saviour of all men Especially those who believe, and the perfecter of all things. He's the author, and he commences and he wraps up and he discloses and he's knowable. He's honest and trustworthy and has a sense of humour that's just my type, and without any shame at all I can say I love him, the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. My faith does not yet appear as it will, and that doesn't bother me one whit because he is drawing me close. Amen to every difficult situation because it causes me to look to him; amen to every blessing he bestows because it makes me draw near to him; amen to every high and every low because he ordains and orchestrates my liberation. Because my heart is for him I cannot be wronged. Because I take no thought for this life, I can be made new. Because He first loved me I can love him. And it grows and it goes on and on and on.
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